THE TRUTH BEHIND THE BLOND BEARD
Myths Exposed
Did all Vikings have blond hair and beards?
Hail friends, Vikings, and enthusiasts!
This article is complementary to my previous submission regarding Viking Hipsters. I will be discussing particular theories pertaining to why the Norse were so Blond, yet the Celts and Gauls were red in comparison. Even though their origins are similar, and can both be traced back to Germanic Tribes, what caused these differences in appearance and fashion?
Did Vikings bleach their hair and beards?
The short and simple answer to this question is yes. This also rings true for the Celtic tribes. But what reasonings were behind this extra step of Manscaping and Peacocking that made these cultures stand apart from many other tribes roaming Europe at the time?
It is well documented that the Norse people had grooming regimens that simply made the Anglo-Saxons seem like a nation that suffered from Aquaphobia (Fear of water). The Norse people had a weekly bathing schedule, and the daily grooming rituals. This rings true for the Celtic tribes and the Gauls also, but how does the topic of hair dyeing come into this?
Viking Soap
Due to geographical variances amongst these Germanic tribes, the ingredients of their soaps were also varied. The Norse people used a soap base that contained ‘lye’, a substance that has strong alkaline properties usually obtained by leaching ashes. As a consequence, lye has bleaching properties which were utilised by the Norsemen in particular to whiten their hair and beards. It has also been suggested that this practice kept hair lice to a minimum. No matter how much research I do, I always find overlapping evidence that the Norse were ‘Peacocking’ and ‘Manscaping’ for various reasons, but the major reason appearing to be purely aesthetic and to instigate competition and rivalry amongst their own tribes. Now if you had any common sense, you would not tell a Viking that he had a similar grooming process to Marilyn Monroe in fear of being cleft in twain, but it is surprisingly true nonetheless. The same can be said for the Celts and the Gauls.
Celtic and Gaul Soap
The Celtic people, though of a similar origin, and some overlapping lines of DNA, had a very different look to the ‘Bottle Blond’ Vikings. Their choice of hair colouring was red. The soap that the Celts and Gauls used was generally comprised of goat’s fat and Beech ashes, which consequently dyed their hair red. On top of this, there is evidence showing that these cultures decorated their beards and hair in similar ways to the Norsemen i.e. putting beads and rings in their beards, combing hair and using the goat’s fat as a basic form of hair product like gel to keep it in place whilst in battle, or when meeting up with fellow tribesmen to show off their new look.
No matter which way you look at this, these guys, though always battle ready, ferocious and fearless, spent a great deal of time on their appearance and beauty regime. It appears they may have put more hours into perfecting their look than the men of today that claim that this Hipster craze is unique, but in fact, it puts the modern ‘Hipster’ to shame. These guys would shave with knives, wax, dye their hair regularly and decorate themselves, and would still be able to carry out any masculine task requested of them.
Blonds Vs Redheads
Though each group were unique in many ways, without their manscaping schedules, they all looked rather similar. Many had light coloured hair and beards usually with a red tinge. This look is not exclusive to the Norse but attributed to the awesome power of Viking Soap that made them stand apart from the Celts and the Gauls.
Of course other factors come into play here like recessive genes and the continuation of these genetic traits through breeding and what each tribe perceived to be beautiful (Which is always changing and forever will) also helped shape the traits that modern day descendants have.
Next time you think one of your fellow Norseman is taking too long to get ready, just spend a moment to reflect on the Vikings of old, and imagine saying that to their face and getting away with it!
I hope you enjoyed this addition to my previous Viking Hipster article. Till my next installment, may the Gods watch over you.
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